Father where art thou?

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!


As I write this painful memories from my son's birth all the way through his year and a half of being on this Earth come to mind.  I missed his umbilical cord being cut, his first cry, his birth certificate being signed, his first doctor's appointment, and even his first birthday party!  As a matter-of-fact I did not know he even existed, but that all changed the day I met him.  


The first time I held him he just grabbed my finger and cried; he would not even look at me.  I was heartbroken and blamed myself because he did not even recognize the young man that was holding him.  All that changed when he looked deep into my eyes.  He just stared at me and smiled.  I knew from that day that I was going to change our circumstances and I immediately began proving myself to his family.


I remember vividly the first time I stood at a toy store trying to figure out what to buy a baby I barely even knew.  I solicited help from the assistants and I even kept my receipt just in case I completely failed, but lo and behold I still have little toys I bought him almost two years ago that barely cost me anything.  I have learned that, it's not the extravagance of the gift, but the spirit in which it was given.


This little guy has completely changed my life.  When I preach, he is right there.  When I sing he is right there.  When I run on the treadmill at the gym, he is right there watching cartoons complaining about how bored he is.  I could not have imagined that a selfish, lost, playboy like myself would have ever put anything before myself, let alone a child, but I did and I have no regrets from it.


I am not perfect, I am still paying back child support, and I do submit this poor child to the intricacies of my ministry but I have learned that I am not a burden on him.  He is greatly a part of everything I do.  Before I make a decision, I think about his well-being or the impact it will have on him.  I have been offered the chance to go places, make lots of money, and be free as a bird to take over the world but I will go nowhere unless this little booger is coming right along with me.


I say all this to let men all over the world know that YOUR PRESENCE is indeed A PRESENT to your children.  No matter how broke, how inexperienced or how messed up you are as a man, imagine those same effects on a child who does not even know you exist.  Get yourself involved in their lives.  If you begin to prove yourself to the families involved and they decide to not let you come into their lives, that is what the court system is for.  Use it to your advantage.  Do not let the excuse that you're a black man facing paternity or custody issues hamper your efforts in being a part of your child's life.


I am a witness that if you walk into a court respectively and let your character speak for you, no judge in this world will deny you the chance to step up and prevent your child from being a statistic.  Because face it, not only will your child become a statistic, you will become one too, so make sure the statistic is a positive one that will forever reflect on the dynamics and generational lay-out of your future blood line.


You can run all you want to, but you will never be able to hide the fact that your blood is still inside a child's veins and what you do now WILL affect them later.  No matter what happens to my son, he will never be able to say daddy was not there.  No matter what crazy decisions he make, he will not be able to say I am at fault for them.  No matter how my son raises his future family, he will not be able to forget or deny the blueprint I am laying out for him.


I say all of this to simply state: Your seeds you lay will indeed sprout up producing either good fruit or bad fruit but you will never even witness or toll the watering and harvesting of the fruit if you are not there.  The bible says it best, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 

You know better so pray to God to allow you to do better.  A child's life and future lies in your guidance and hopefully wisdom you have acquired from our heavenly Father himself.  Be encouraged men!